A Part of Me that Died so I Could be Born

Life was good, life was sweet
You don’t know me and never will
I won’t take this! Watch my world unfurl
So alone, alone am I
Rocking back and forth all I know is how to die
Take another point, shove it in my vein
The only thing that could reach me
Take away the pain
Straight to the brain climbing walls
Your insane, put me down it means nothing at all
Regret remorse, guilt and shame
I know these things but only by name
To feel anything I wouldn’t know
To smoke this OZ in an hour is my only goal
Killing brain cells and my life
Using, abusing that seducing knife
Screaming, screaming silent I am
The only person who suffers the one I condemn
Finally, one day I ran out
Was forced to take a look about
My friends were scared, as wrecked as I
My mom was really dead, still I couldn’t cry
The pain still there no relief at all
No more drugs, no one to call
Truly lonely, what as cost
All I really wanted I lost
The chance to be in school and have a career by now
I let it slip through preoccupied by stupidity somehow
Never got to know my mom better through all the pain
Ten years after a liver transplant wasted in vain
The rest of my family a mess
How with them was I supposed to find happiness?
Hit the street right on the only things I knew
I considered gone
Eventually met someone like me
To help me move on
It’s been a struggle, it’s been hard
I’ve been dealt shitty hands and had to examine each card
I made it back at the later still far from the top
You’ll never know how far you’ll make it if you give up
I’m back in school, got my family back that I’ve never known
My love inside is full blown
That someone I met is my fiancé
Who’s to say where someone will take you one day
I’ve been clean off meth close to three years today
If I didn’t quit I’d have nothing to say
I’d be dead, no one would know
The wonderful things I have to share
For this world to contribute is my goal.
Life isn’t always pretty that’s true
To kill yourself with drugs isn’t fair.
Let go of resentments
Forget the past
You have a future
Put down that shit at last
Life is waiting so come along
You misplaced it, it isn’t all gone
For the things that are, are going to be alright
To build anew is why you fight
Don’t let life’s glory escape you
Because you feel bad
Everything you want is in front of your hand
You can do anything, it’s in your state of mind.